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By Mylene Janse van Rensburg

At 18 I was a very busy matriculant at the height of my final year! Just came back from America with a few medals for competing in the International Championships of performing arts! I was ready to finish my last year! Then I met Georg, wasn’t really in to him because a few years back he was friends with my step brother and that alone gave me a red light! After a few weeks I started seeing that this guy Georg is actually very different from the idea I had as a junior in high school! Gosh I was in love!! We went to my matric fairwell, I was in the clouds with this very hot 22 year old boy at my side!  So my final year at school ended and I was very much excited about my new journey starting the next year!

Ok so we dated for 5 years and got married in 2010! Best day of my life, sooooo blessed! I always thought that life after we got married would just happen as planned, we would plan out our dreams . Trips, baby’s , buying a house and everything will fall into place! At first I just wanted to be married for a few months before we would decide on when to start a family!

One morning in June while having breakfast my husband said that he thinks were ready! Great! First i had to have a checkup and then were good to go! By the end of the year I had had stage 4 endometriosis removed, well I thought it was all gone! At my post op appointment she sent my husband for “the test” , but i didn’t have any negative thoughts about it cause my issues were sorted and gosh why would he have any problems! A week later my phone rings…. sorry your husband’s tests came back, we are referring you to another Dr! What!!! They did not call us for an appointment, nope just a phone call to say we have to go for an IUI and that’s it! Now I had to brake the news to my husband! With tears in my eyes I tell him , gosh how do I do it without him feeling like a failure, my heart broke for him!

After the second failed IUI I decided to go to another fertility specialist! Back to the theatre he says! My heart stops when I find out not only that my endometriosis was not removed entirely the first time and that’s the reason my IUI’s didn’t work, but now we had to start planning for ivf! Where do we get that kind of money? First attempt failed, but we had 6 embryos left, our second transfer ( 6 months later) we decided to transfer 3, on the 1st of April 2012 we found out were expecting! Something feels wrong…. At 7 weeks we found out it’s a tubal pregnancy! Why???  15 months later we transfer one embryo because the other two did not make it through the thawing proses! Failed!

What am I doing wrong? We decided to take one year off! Bought a house, moved my business and so we figured To just focus on us for a change! Last year May we started planning our second full ivf process! Again! Failed! But we still have 2 transfers left! Now we are at a stage where we have to come to a decision whether to go on or to use a surrogate! Still we are positive, not going to give up! One thing I believe is that God is preparing us for what’s coming! And no matter what we have to face to get there, that it will be worth the wait! Although I’m turning 30 in a few months, I still hold on to the blessings that are still coming!