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“I knew after the first 6 months of trying that there may be a problem” I was so ready to be a mom I could not wait. I was lucky/unlucky enough to work with reproductive health and I knew the definition of infertility is being unable to conceive within 12 months, but that most people conceive within 3 months.

The next 6 months of trying while waiting to reach the 12-month mark were very long and emotional. It is a twist of fate that the day you find out every month that you are not pregnant is the same day that your emotions are all over the place. I was sure the problem was me, my mom used Clomid to conceive me. The shock we received at our fertility appointment was to learn that it was both me and my husband!! and that there would be no slow progression up the treatment scale it was just straight to IVF with ICSI.

But first, there were some long months of vitamins and every alternate therapy we could find on the internet including diet changes to prepare us for the IVF. The excitement of our treatment month came and I felt that finally that we had a good chance of getting a baby, but then the reality of the difficulty even with IVF hit, only 50% of the eggs retrieved fertilized! and then each day of the 5 days more and more embryo’s stopped dividing. The stress of that time was huge and support only from other infertile’s on online forums. The experience waiting two weeks for an outcome… awful, hourly I would go to the bathroom expecting my period to start. But I was lucky the treatment worked and I carried my twin boys to 35 weeks. I stressed more than a normal person during my pregnancy only to learn you stress the most when your precious children arrive.

Things I have learned being infertile: Go as soon as possible for evaluation, don’t waste any time; the pain never completely goes away even when you finally have your own children; the doctors still know only part of the story so it may take multiple treatments to work or never work at all but try; men and women are both equally likely to have fertility problems; you need support this is a tough path; adoption is possible but it also takes time.