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By Inge Louw

Like so many newlyweds we had our first 3 year plan all mapped out. House, dog, kids. Then life happened and 5 years later still haven’t had one 2lined pregnancy test.

When we got married, with me being a bit older, we decided on not using any contraceptives. Funny enough I actually thought I was pregnant with a honeymoon baby but the nausea and lightheadedness was just the heavy turbulence combined with snorkeling the day before.

Fast forward months and months on clomid and hundreds of pregnancy tests, we went to our first fertility clinic. I was placed on Femara for few months,still nothing. Went for first laparoscopy and absolutely nothing wrong. Tubes are open, lining is normal… we reached the “unexplained infertility ” diagnosis. Was referred to our second private fertility clinic, just because it is less than 2 hours drive away. Had our first 2IUIs there and my first introduction to menopur and ovitrell. Had my second laparoscopy with the new doctor and, yes you guessed it, no abnormalities found. Had our third and final IUI there, same outcome. Now we were knocking on IVFs door but the costs was crazy. I use to jokingly say that infertility issues is something rich people that stay at home can have, but yet I somehow got off from work and funds came in.

Our First IVF was done at yet a new clinic, this time Tygerberg. Three IVF cycles later and a stint in hospital with OHSS, still no positive tests but ended up with 5 frozen embryos. Firts attempt at FET was negative and second attempt was on 25/01/2017. This will be our second last attempt and once all the frozen embryos have been used, then we are done trying.

Through this journey I met so many wonderful people and the TTC community is extremely supportive and stretch internationally. You stop asking “why me” and in a way accept things the way it is. You have to, otherwise you run the danger of becoming a bitter and hard soul.
I’ve been able to help people, educate ladies that struggle with the same problem when I see them at work, just because I am walking in their shoes. I’ve seen so many miracles at work..oh I didn’t mention I am a clinic nurse. I know humanely we can do only so much, but as Prof Kruger once said in an article, with the weaving together process no human has a hand in that, and that keeps me going. I won’t lie, I have my “ugly puffy eyed red face crying” days, but not every month and we still get excited and stay hopeful for what the future has in store for us.
Infertility does not define who I am and will not break me…I have too much to be grateful for

UPDATE 2018: 

Second FET was negative and then the third and final FET turned out negative..or so i thought.
I really do not have the willpower to wait for bloodwork day.
Fancy digital urine tests showed a negative on Saturday afternoon and so I thought “Oh well”, but Sunday morning i was tempted to use the last urine test, no name brand so had little hope. My goodness, i was  about to throw the test away WHEN I NOTICED A SECOND SHADOW OF A LINE.
Unreal, disbelief. I always thought i will react a bit more crazy but i went numb. Excited. All at once.
So fast forward a few weeks later and abnormal amount of bloods drawn … i ended up being a SUPER DUPER STATISTICIAN…. ectopic pregnancy
That was june/july last year. Took a 6months break.  Now I have to be more moreMORE MoRe patient…. ivf clinic is short staffed. Have to wait probably for middle of the year
BUT I WAS PREGNANT, even only for few weeks but still.  Bite me INFERTILITY