Tears of sadness and heartache are now tears of joy with a smiling heart <3
I kept on believing and kept the hope, one day, and this day is here, Yes, I am pregnant!!! My God
I still cannot believe it, seems like a dream, and to say that last 9 years have been a crazy rollercoaster,
But all I can say this journey was all worth it, for my little miracle! Which I am forever thankful for <3 and
cannot wait to embrace you and hold you little one in my arms <3
When Babies Don’t Come is a Documentary by award winning Film Maker Molatelo Mainetje. See the trailer here.
We have the pleasure of running a private screening of the film. It has already won numerous awards, including one for Best Documentary Feature at the 2018 African Film Festival in Dallas.
Date and Time: 9th March from 11am
Venue: The Bioscope Independent Cinema, 286 Fox Street, Main Street Life, Maboneng, Johannesburg, 2094
Cost: Free (please only register if you are going to attend)
My name is Pasco and this is my parents, Denis and Veronica’s journey to our family:
When Denis and I met in 1980, we discussed and agreed that we wanted children very early in our marriage. Brandon, our son was conceived in our third year of marriage and, we wanted to afford him all the attention he needed, before thinking of our second child. Time passed quickly and Denis and I tried for our 2nd. This was not meant to be and after many failed IVF’s and a miscarriage, I was devastated and at the point of admitting defeat that Brandon would be an only child.
In 2008, we started trying for children. I was so excited about becoming a mom, that I actually started baby shopping that very first month. I look back on those moments and shudder, if only I had known what lay ahead.
After a year, an infertile friend of mine recommended we seek help. I was reluctant, I believed my problem was related to the grief I was experiencing over losing my dad. Eventually though, we went to see a fertility specialist. Initial tests seemed to show that all was fine with us, and so we went home and carried on trying.
Life planning, experiences and expectations, came to a halt, when the results of what I thought would never be possible, became evident and positive. After several tests and, to my dismay, I was diagnosed with a very rare condition of Varicocele vein which affects only 15 in 100 men. I was told, the worst and most unbearable news, was the “fact” that this will steal my chance of becoming a parent and father.
Twenty-seven. That’s how many times I had heard that my blood test result was negative. I had lost count of the times I did not see two pink lines on home tests.
I had never been pregnant yet after seven years of trying to conceive, countless doctors’ appointments, two surgeries, five failed IUIs, and one failed IVF cycle, I still believed I would give birth to a child one day.
Please join us on the 10th March, where we will be covering all aspects of Infertility, including Donor Conception.
We will have speakers from Medfem Clinic and Sandton Fertility Clinic, as well as personal stories.
Time: 10am- 11:30am General Infertility Session
11:30am – 1pm Donor Conception Session
My story begins 8 years ago. For the longest time I have worked with and been surrounded by children, as an au pair both in London and in Johannesburg. They have always been like tiny friends to me, and I’ve thought for the longest time that with all this “training” I will be the most natural mother.
A few weeks before my husband and I got married I kickstarted contraception (yup, that way round), in preparation for a kid-free couple of years. I was 27, he was 30 and we had known each other for just over a year. The concept of children seemed fun but also futuristic. We hadn’t decided if we wanted 2 or 10, but that was future Mike and Ange’s decision… right then our world involved, sleeping in, hanging onto each other up escalators for our weekly sushi and movie night, learning to cook meals, testing those meals on friends, going to church, building our careers, killing our mortgage, hiding ‘SHMILY’ notes (See How Much I Love You), quietly gloating at how happy we made each other and planning some galavants around the globe. You could say that we were really enjoying our ever-so-slightly self indulgent cocoon.
“I’m going to tell you something that is going to blow your mind”. I now know what it means to be haunted by something. Whenever I hear the words “blow your mind” I think back to that day in Dr V’s office.
After we got married at 24, we decided to wait a while before starting a family. We were still young and wanted to travel. If only we knew how precious those years on the biological clock were. Eventually at 27 we decided we might be ready but weren’t in any rush. I was very naïve and gullible.
After trying to conceive for 5 years and 6 failed ivf’s, with a miscarriage at 8 weeks, we were on the last round of IVF that we could afford. The next step would be adoption, we had already made contact with a Social Worker. Then I saw a post on Facebook about a Fertility Astrologist who could help predict when would be the best time to do an IVF cycle. At that stage of desperation we would have tried anything, so we met with Nicky Smut-Allsop over Skype. She gave us the dates to try our final ivf cycle – the following April. We gave birth to our triplets in that same December.
After we were married, we decided that we would start trying for children early on as neither of us were getting any younger and we wanted to grow with our children. I had never been one for counting days of my cycle and was none the wiser that I had been having very irregular cycles for quite some time, after about 6 months I decided to start keeping track of my cycles which is when I started to realize that there was a problem here, some cycles were 30 days and some 60 and no regular pattern whatsoever.
By Chantal Jacobs
I am 1 in 6 but I am even rarer than that. I’m here to tell you that despite all your best wishes and hard work – treatment sometimes just doesn’t work.
We have been TTC for 8 years, I started at 29. We have done 6 or 7 IUI’s. 7 ICSI’s and 2 PICSI’s. I’ve done endometrial scratching and everything I could to maximise the chances of success. All of that pain and heart break resulted in our seeing two lines once and ended in a protracted early miscarriage of twins, one by one, we saw a scan and a heartbeat and then it stopped. Just like that.
My first IVF was 16 years ago. A life time ago. And yet it feels like yesterday. 16 years and three children later, I will never forget what it was like to be in the trenches of infertility.
Today I am a mother of three children. A few years ago I was terrified I would never be a mother. It still seems surreal. A question I am often asked is “was it worth it?” Was it worth going through five years of infertility, nine IVFs, several pregnancy losses and hundreds of thousands of rands in order to have my children? The answer is both yes and no. Was it worth all the miscarriages and the tragic death of my first born son Ben at 10 days old due to pre-term labour? Most definitely not. Are my living children worth all I went through? Most definitely yes. I would do it all again, a million times over in order to have the children I have. I suppose what people are asking is whether motherhood is what I hoped it would be. It is all that, and more.
By Angela Kelleher – IFAASA Director
In 2011, following a couple of years of trying to conceive naturally and four attempts at IUI, I finally walked through the door to a Fertility Clinic. I remember the sense of dread I felt and how overwhelmed I was to see others in the waiting room – was infertility this common? I had no idea of the statistics (one in six), and had never investigated infertility and was completely innocent to what was ahead of me. And I remember that day having the most comprehensive consultation I ever received in my life. I walked out of there feeling a hundred times better and knew exactly what the future held in terms of tests and investigations.
I never thought it would happen to us. I never thought we would be the 1 in 6. All I have ever wanted to do is be a mommy. And now we find ourselves on our fourth cycle with our fertility clinic.
I cannot begin to explain the emotional rollercoaster which is fertility. It never seems to end. It’s like going through the five stages of grief each month. If receiving consistent “no’s” or “sorry not this time” or “negatives” isn’t difficult enough to deal with, there is the added trauma of being surrounded by pregnant women and babies everywhere you go.
Since a little girl, all I wanted to be was a Mommy. One would think falling pregnant is the most natural experience to happen to a woman, so I thought, never did I once think I would be the one crying behind closed doors, putting a front up at the next baby shower, or diverting the famous question asked by many “So, when are you having a baby?” My husband and I have been trying to fight this battle for 4 years.
By Christelle Oosthuizen
Funny how, as woman and since a young age you think how you will look pregnant and how many kids you would love to have. And you definately think getting pregnant is the easiest thing to do.
Never in my right mind have I had the slightest blink of a thought that to get pregnant, will take forever and will nearly ruin my life and change me forever…
By Maritza Smith Meiring
09/02/2014 – I recently got my operation date. To realize we will never have our own baby, even after giving hope in 2009 after my big operation. I can’t help but to mourn, grieving like someone very , very close to me has died. It’s like a big loss , loss NOT being like a broken bone which will heal with little showing on the surface , more like an amputation – a visible, constant reminder complete with phantom pain from the lost limb. It is something I will deal with for the rest of my life. The closer to the time of the opp, the more painful it is, but the results of the pain (amputation) will always be with me. I even get morning sickness, night frights of having twins, bloody, screaming and constantly crying twins….
By Mylene Janse van Rensburg
At 18 I was a very busy matriculant at the height of my final year! Just came back from America with a few medals for competing in the International Championships of performing arts! I was ready to finish my last year! Then I met Georg, wasn’t really in to him because a few years back he was friends with my step brother and that alone gave me a red light! After a few weeks I started seeing that this guy Georg is actually very different from the idea I had as a junior in high school! Gosh I was in love!! We went to my matric fairwell, I was in the clouds with this very hot 22 year old boy at my side! So my final year at school ended and I was very much excited about my new journey starting the next year!
By Bronwyn Le Roux
Our journey started 5 years ago. We got engaged and decided that I would go off birth control. So we could have a honeymoon baby. Sadly that never happened.
However I always knew deep down that something was wrong. I started seeing a great Dr at Louis Leipoldt. He thought I might have Endo and therefore was refered to a Endo specialist at Louis Leipolt. I underwent my first Lap in 2014 they found I had stage 1 endo. After my recovery we started ovulation induction.
By Anushka Pillay
A Journey of Emotions & Pain all rolled up in one….Infertility Rollercoaster…
I am 1 in 6 ladies to have this horrible condition
My Hubby and I have been together for 17 years, married 8, been trying to conceive for the last 6 years….When I was a little girl marriage and babies was never on my mind, In fact I never considered having a baby.
For the last 6 years, the first thing and the last thing and the only thing is I need a miracle to fall pregnant. So here goes my story on my journey through infertility & hope….
At the age of 10 I was diagnosed with IBS, always had pains
By Angeline Shirley
I started feeling a little guilty sharing my story right from the beginning as I have not always struggled with infertility. It has however not been an easy journey and I feel it is a story that I should share.
By Carin van Rooyen Mrs Africa Earth South Africa 2017.
I am 34 years old, been ttc for 8 years. I have endometriosis, hubby cannot understand why I just dont give up.
All I’ve ever wanted was to be a mother….it is in me…I see a baby and I want to cry….I am petrified of dying alone.
I have so much love to give, I know I will be a wonderful mother. I am angry at my body….why does it not work?
By Imogen Rossam
It never crossed my mind that infertility could or would ever be part of my life! I have wanted to be a mom since I was young, and I just assumed it would happen easily when I was ready. I met and married the man of my dreams in 2013 and after our wedding we immediately started trying. We daydreamed and planned about the baby we were “about” to have and both assumed that within the year and our little family would begin.
Op moedersdag 1996 was ek in sak en as nadat ons al vir 3½ jaar probeer het om swanger te raak en drie in vitro-behandelings ondergaan het sonder sukses. Ek het begin glo dat en nooit ‘n mamma sou wees nie en was erg depressief. Om myself te help troos het ek vir my ‘n duur goue ketting gekoop as ‘n ‘onmoedersdag’ geskenk. Gelukkig het ons verhaal ‘n gelukkige einde en ons is vandag die trotse ouers van vier pragtige kinders – twee tweelinge. Dit is vir my meer werd as al die goud op aarde!
By Kelly Van der Merwe
We have decided to share our story for the sole purpose of giving hope to other couples
currently going through their own personal journey in the hope that one day they too will
be able to share their story of answered prayer and encouragement to someone else in
need of inspiration.
By Danya Pearce
Where do you begin a story about losing a baby? At conception? The devastating ultrasound? Or maybe you start at your own in utero development which really sealed my baby’s fate? I was born with a unique congenital deformity classified as a mullerian defect. There’s a lot of technical information available on this, but in a nutshell, I was born with a malformed uterus. This all happened when I was still growing in my own mothers belly, the irony is also not lot on me. I had a semi normal uterus attached to my right ovary and an underdeveloped one attached to the left. As luck would have it, I did fall pregnant naturally against all predictions of the specialist. My miracle. I was thrilled but at the same time, uneasy. I had just gotten used to the fact that I was different to the norm, had funny parts and would probably need the assistance of a test tube and lots of fiddling. I am, however also aware of life’s weird twists and turns.
“I knew after the first 6 months of trying that there may be a problem” I was so ready to be a mom I could not wait. I was lucky/unlucky enough to work with reproductive health and I knew the definition of infertility is being unable to conceive within 12 months, but that most people conceive within 3 months.
The next 6 months of trying while waiting to reach the 12-month mark were very long and emotional. It is a twist of fate that the day you find out every month that you are not pregnant is the same day that your emotions are all over the place. I was sure the problem was me, my mom used Clomid to conceive me. The shock we received at our fertility appointment was to learn that it was both me and my husband!! and that there would be no slow progression up the treatment scale it was just straight to IVF with ICSI.
By Cindy Jansen van Rensburg
I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility in 2011, after having tried to fall pregnant for three years already. After two IUI’s, a laparotomy and an IVF, we decided to pursue living childless as an option. And of course, as Murphy would have it, that was when I fell pregnant naturally. Sadly we lost the baby at 12 weeks, and about 8 months later our marriage also crumbled and we are now divorced.
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Break the silence
IFAASA, the Infertility Awareness Association of South Africa NPC, established in 2013, is a non-profit organisation with the aim of supporting Southern Africans living with reproductive health issues through education, research and advocacy, and to educate the public about reproductive disease.