Advocate. Inform. Empower

From Sex to a Surrogate!

By Christelle Oosthuizen

Funny how, as woman and since a young age you think how you will look pregnant and how many kids you would love to have. And you definately think getting pregnant is the easiest thing to do.

Never in my right mind have I had the slightest blink of a thought that to get pregnant, will take forever and will nearly ruin my life and change me forever…

27 years old, we had been married for one year and we were ready at the starting gate to have a baby… but then hurricane INFERTILITY STRUCK and did not leave us for the next 10 long years!

We start off with the home plan, we did the GIFT, a few laparoscopies, we did Artificial inseminations, got millions of hormonal injections, did IVF’s, I got pregnant naturally. We did it all.

But it all ended in Miscarriages! 1 out of 5 pregnancies ended in a Miscarriage. All of mine did. My uterus hated to be pregnant and I loved to be pregnant.  We have had a love hate relationship.

Why did I never stop trying???? I think I went crazy with the ‘what if the next time it will work… !!’ Deep inside I just think I went bonkers, my brain seized. I did not think I just did.

After 5 years and 5 miscarriage I was about to give up, I reached the end! Emotionally I was ruined. Financially we were near bankrupt. Physically I was putting on the kg’s with every treatment. But my super positive fertility specialist convinced me not to stop and TRY ONE MORE TIME. And I fell for it every time. Because nothing was wrong with me or my husband, we’ve got the unexplained fertility tattoo on our heads.

In the back of my mind I do believe in miracles! So we start all again with adding the new miscarriage cocktail to it. Nothing worked and then we transfered 2 blastocysts and I got a positive! I went for my first scan on 8 weeks. I was pregnant with identical twins ( the one blastocyst spilt) and the other one died 3 days ago. I was pregnant with trips that change into identical twins. This was a miracle and not for one second did I doubt the pregnancy. It was a gift! But I started to bleed at 9 weeks. Rushing to the doc several times to see if the babies are still alive but at 17 weeks I was in so much pain but in the back of my mind believed it’s all about the bleeding . But then everything changed as my water broke and I delivered my twins I wanted with all my heart, in my house with my dear husband at my side. This ordeal rocked my world, I went into shock for months.

But one and a half years later, I wanted to try again. I was at a  time in life where I did not know what to do next I prayed for signs, I prayed for answers, I prayed for hope…. when my lovely sister offered to surrogate for us!!

This is when we started the amazing journey of surrogacy!!! It was so special. This journey was also not without hiccups. We did 3 attempts in which I fell pregnant twice with the ivf. Got pregnant on my own and ended up in ER with an ectopic that burst. Sus got pregnant with the 3th attempt, with twins.

The day the doc put the scan on at 6 weeks showing the two beans, I cracked and had a melt down, because at last I knew this will be it!!! At last.

My sisters pregnancy was also not with the normal trauma and we delivered the twins at 32 weeks. The best day of my life!!!!! I adore my little boy and girl. I went onto the biggest high of my life when I saw those two.

From the start I set my mind to it that it’s not me that will have the preggy bump. I saw myself through the eyes of the husband. I went to all the scans, felt my precious babies on her tummy, and the day in theatre when they was born, I was looking at the miracle that was about to happen from where a man stands and I cut the cord. I never felt left out and jealous about this pregnancy, because I know this is my only chance for mother hood.

Not all presents are wrapped in the same wrapping, and miracles do happen!

When my babies were 7 months old I ended up in ER with my 2nd ectopic that burst. So now I am tubeless! Like one of my friend said, it was God’s way of putting an end to it all! Cause you will never have stopped trying!

Infertility doesn’t  have any timeline on it, you will never know how long it will take to reach your end.

I think that when you got confronted with infertility everything in you just wants to try and try and never stop. But only you can decided till where you want to go. I respect everyone’s decisions because if you not the one wearing the shoes, you cannot judge!

It was definately all worth it, but it was not easy, it ruined the me I was before infertility.

Never give up on your dreams, because of the time it will take to accomplish them.

 

Tags: #1in6

Comments (1)

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    anneeda

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    WOW,you are so strong,Thank you for sharing. I’m at a place where I don’t know where to go from here. My husband has asked me about surrogacy,he is open to the idea,but I haven’t made a decision yet. Thank you for the insight.

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