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Right now I have unexplained infertility. However, I am not particularly fond of that term. I prefer to think of it as “not having met my infertility yet.” Because I cannot honestly say that I have tried or tested everything, that I have done every diet and exercise regime, or that I have met with several REs on my path to my infertility discovery. I would love to try everything, meet everyone and get this situation solved for good – get me a baby already! But I also suffer from a particular sect of unexplained infertility – and that would be financial infertility.

Lisa Newton is a writer, a blogger and fellow infertile. She enjoys interviewing people who have experienced infertility firsthand. This interview is with Jay – a man who’s willing to speak out about male factor infertility.

Tell us a little about yourself.

I’m an Aussie guy living in Melbourne Australia. I’ve been married for three and a half years and work a cushy desk job in a small insurance company.

I’m obsessed with video games and write game related content for a small community site with some mates.

My fertility journey spans over 16 years. I like to call it my fertility journey not my infertility journey and my support group that came from this struggle is a fertility group not an infertility group. This mind set has been critical. When more people were pregnant in the group than not the name changed. My husband and I have been together for 34 years since the age of ten and eleven, so for a huge part of our lives we were trying not to fall pregnant. After five years of marriage the time felt right to start a family, we had bought the new house, got the dog and we started trying. For two years we tried totally ignorantly about when we should be doing what and all those good things and we fell pregnant with twins taking a cycle of clomid. At six weeks there were two perfect heart beats and then somewhere between then and ten weeks the ‘vanishing twin’ disappeared. This was devastating for us, my husband’s sisters are twins and so my mom in law was particularly excited. Telling them the news was awful. I never realized that I was on a fertility journey in those two years but a teaching colleague also fell pregnant at the same time as me and tried for as long as me and so I thought this was normal. I taught up to 11 days before I gave birth NATURALLY (forceps, pethadine, episiotomy, etc.) to my daughter Emma, a perfect 2.7 kilos of heavenly joy. It was a day that I relive every year. Unbelievable to be a mother for the first time!!! Well motherhood’s rough let me warn you, you have to be totally selfless and at 30 I wasn’t  that. Being a control freak, A type personality I didn’t feel that I could cope with a two year age gap so when Emma was two I went off the pill and so began a journey that I’ll never forget and in fact am grateful for now. I was with the gynae that delivered Emma and he was amazing meeting me on Saturdays to trigger me, he scanned me for free and after I think it was two years I said I think I need to go to a fertility doctor. His response was mind blowing ‘oh I didn’t know there was money available? ‘ I wonder if I would still be there today.

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